I'm a bad man...

Okay, Friday night we go out to the Aquasox game. For those of you who DON’T know, the Aquasox are a “Single A – Short Season” baseball team mostly made up of hottie 17 & 18 year old boys who hope to make it to the “bigs” someday. But, for now, they put up with the indignities of playing to 3,000 people in Everett. Still, beats shuffling paper for a living.

So we’re there for Miriam’s birthday and my father-in-law’s birthday/father’s day present. The weather is beautiful, the game is going well (we lost). There’s free hats! And we’re RIGHT BEHIND HOME PLATE in seats that cost a whopping $13.

We’re enjoying the game and sitting to my left are two women. One is reading a manual on how to use a new cash register and the other gal is paying bills. Now, I’m a thong/butt man like most men. But the woman paying bills is REALLY large and every time she stands up to cheer, you see the red cord of her thong and the little triangle thingy. It just looked, well, odd.

Anyway – by the 7th inning they had paid their bills and studied their manual and off they went to home.

Now there’s 3 seats between me and the next group of people on my left. Two women, a guy and a little boy. The boy is cute, not even two yet, but walking back and forth between us and his parents.

Well, I soon notice that the woman sitting the closest to us, is wearing a loose fitting shirt and she’s a bit attractive and I wonder to myself: “If she bends down and picks up this child, will I be able to see her breasts?” To achieve this theory, I decide to start interacting with the child.

Again, he’s a cute little kid and these parents are all happy that I’m playing with the kid and Miriam thinks I’m being cute and she’s interacting with the boy. Well, lo and behold, her comes “Mom” and she bends down to get the boy and VIOLA! Two huge mounds of breast become very clear to me. Granted, I’m not seeing the ENTIRE breast as she IS wearing a bra. But I’m seeing 85% of boobage.

So for the next half hour, I keep interacting with the kid MOSTLY so the mother comes down and picks him and takes him back to his seat – only to have him come back down and interact with me – in my hopes that she’ll come back and bend over and pick him up and take him back to the seat with her.

All in all, I got, probably, 7 or 8 full on breast moments.

I’m a pathetic bad man.